How to Grow a Groot
by Cordelia Sun
Summary: Clutching the fragmented remains of his friend, Rocket consults an ancient manuscript for guidance on what to do next.


Notes:

Rated K+ for some very mild language

Previously posted to AO3

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Rocket sat in the bright, sterile room of Xandar's central library and clutched a sealed plastic bag, almost as large as he was, to his chest. The librarian placed an ancient book before him with care and reverence and handed him a tiny pair of white cotton gloves to put on. Rocket stared at her in silence, teeth bared, until she wilted under the glare and scurried away. As soon as he was alone Rocket threw the gloves over his shoulder with a derisory snort and climbed up on to the desk. He settled the bag next to him and read the book title:

_Robert Petaldrop's Complete Book of Sentient Plants_

It wasn't a big book, but Rocket still had to stand on the desk to see it properly and he grumbled under his breath as he was forced to stretch out his short arms in order to turn the pages. He leafed through, randomly at first, glancing at the different species as they flickered past: blue humanoid Delvians, spiky Cactacae, the semi-sentient carnivorous Sarlacc and finally the thing he was searching for: Flora Colossus.

Rocket began to read:

**_Varieties:_**

_Flora Colossus is a hardwood plant originating from Planet X. It can grow in excess of 20ft and over 8000lbs. Not for the beginning gardener, the Flora Colossus is usually grown in specialist arbors and tended to by trained maintenance mammals. However, with careful planning and the selection of a good strong sprig a gifted amateur gardener can successfully grow Flora Colossus in a container at home._

**_Propagation:_**

_From Seed - Rarely grown from seed._

_From Cuttings - Very little is known about Flora Colossus mating practices, but research suggests most reproduction is facilitated asexually from cuttings via layering or budding from an existing plant. Two adult Flora Colossus can decide to reproduce by grafting a cutting from one onto rootstock provided by the other, but with limited records it is impossible to know if this is a common or reliable method of procreation._

_To grow from a cutting at home choose a fresh, juicy looking sprig with a plump growing bud. Fill a pot with one part seed compost and one part vermiculite. Cut the sprig 6cm below the bud, push into the pot with the bud facing up and cover the root with compost until the bud is lightly covered. Keep the container warm, moist and out of direct sunlight and the root should soon produce shoots. Pot up regularly as the root grows to prevent from becoming pot bound._

**_Pests &amp; Diseases:_**

_Flora Colossus is resistant to most pests, diseases and conventional weapons. Genetically engineered termites can be an occasional problem. If infected use a medicated horticultural soap and encourage regular washing. In extreme cases termites can lead to death, in which case refer to propagation instructions to regrow from sprig._

**_Special Properties:_**

_Possesses great strength, durability and regenerative properties._

_Flora Colossus are often highly educated and intelligent; although the limited communication skills, caused by a hardening of the larynx as they age, make this difficult to demonstrate._

_Can control other plants and has the ability to greatly morph physical form._

**_Culinary Uses:_**

_The buds are delicious when fresh and grated on—_

Rocket snapped the book shut in disgust; ancient Xandarian's could be real assholes sometimes.

He steadied his breath, turned to his data pad and, from memory, tapped out a short specific list of required supplies. He send it off to the Nova Core administrator who had so breezily told him that if there was anything he wanted, he just had to ask.

Next he opened the bag, sliding the seal open awkwardly with a claw, and carefully rifled through the contents. He picked out a small selection of promising sprigs and sat with them cupped in his hands.

Rocket wasn't an optimist. In his short life he had endured enough pain, been betrayed enough times and had suffered enough general disappointment that, in his not-so-humble opinion, optimism could go suck it.

But Groot had never betrayed him and rarely disappointed him in any way that counted (and yes, refusal to obtain random prosthetics on command didn't count) and so, for once, he allowed himself a little sprig of hope. 

The End


End file.
